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This year, take your cotton ball to work

The corporate world is a very dangerous place to work. We�re not talking about the physical sense, although we do recognize there are some very dangerous occupations out there like the Alaskan crab fishing industry or city taxi drivers. We�re referring to the psychological aspects of earning a paycheck, of steeling yourself at the dawn of every day to coping with the disruptive environment we call a job or career. Once we rub the sleep out of our eyes many individuals roll up to a work environment they describe as rife with discord, unreasonable demands, just-in-time decisions and a deficiency of inspired leadership.

Whipping at us is also a world that�s continually morphing itself into the next big thing whether we like it or not. Change happens so we have to get over it; but honestly, that�s not the real problem. Inside that swirl of change is a torrent of fresh information that continually flies off the shelves that we can only half-digest. That�s the real problem. We reach a point where we have a difficult time deciphering what information is of value to us and what is junk. We just end up consuming everything without really digesting the value of anything. What we focus on is a screaming �To Do� list versus developing a solid plan around a �To Be� list. A constant diet of �do do� over the years addressing the busy work of external agendas will eventually cover us in barnacles. Those barnacles will bury our spirit, rob us of our personal thoughts where we lose sight of who we really are and how we should action a future that�s in our best interests. In reality we become orphanated from our latent strengths and talents. That�s the dangerous piece working against us today. We no longer feel our own existence. The good news is that we�re all there, it�s just a matter of uncovering ourselves.

Welcome to the AT position in life, the reality of your present state. Is where you�re AT today where you want to be?

Organizational psychologist, Jonathon Kovacheff stated: � The irony of life is that you can perform at a high level doing things you don�t necessarily love to do.� One executive we�ve worked with had a boss whose style can be best described as threatening and bullying accentuated by emotional outbursts. When we asked the executive why he wouldn�t consider his options, his answer was. �It�s really hard to give up what I�ve got, to be who I really want.� The value we place on our lives is all around accumulations and accomplishments. Not knowing himself or his boundaries left him extremely vulnerable to the foibles of his environment. The cost to remain in his AT position, even though he was good at what he did, was huge. He paid the price of high stress and anxiety indulging the whims and changing agendas of his boss. There was also a high cost to his own happiness and family who were robbed of his presence.

Some of the individuals we get the privilege to coach have completely lost sight of themselves. For example, take the individuals who wake up one morning to the alarm of their spirit and are suddenly hit with the feeling that, �I don�t want to be what I�m doing anymore � I have no idea how I really ended up where I am. But what I do know is that I�m not happy and I have to change my situation.� What we encounter are intelligent, educated individuals with an inability to see themselves clearly. Living in this state means you don�t make the choices that are in your best interests. In times of crisis, such as a job loss or being passed-over for a promotion, you feel abandoned and caught in the middle of nowhere, not really understanding the chemistry of change. You�re suddenly hit with an identity crisis you have no idea how to manage. Even worse, as another client stated, �I�ve lost the ability to dream.� The thick stuff of life has to be distilled before it can be explored with imagination. It�s nigh on impossible to see what your future holds if you haven�t a deep understanding of how you ended up in your AT position in the first place.

We all have a spirit gene as part of our D N A. �D� and �A� by our definition being Desire and Ability. One of the exercises we do as part of the initial coaching process is to have individuals develop a �spirit� card. We are all familiar with the business card that identifies who we are in terms of our profession. But if you were to design a card that best describes your inner spirit in the form of a word or a picture � what would it be? Not surprisingly, many individuals have great difficulty developing a spirit card. Business detaches us from the process of being ourself and numbs our feelings.

This is not complex or profound but it is powerful in coaxing some feelings out of an individual�s thinking. We can�t manage anything we don�t understand. The greater clarity we have in understanding ourself the happier and more confident we�ll be in making the choices in life that are right for us. It�s all about becoming centred again around who you are and what you have the right to do in life. At the core of your true self lies your spirit. It�s the centre of your potential self. Only through knowing and living as ourselves can we create the real success in the reality of our life.

When we arrive on this planet, two births actually take place in our creation. The first birth is our physical state. That�s an Act of God. The second birth happens immediately following the first. That�s the energy put behind the Act of You. The nucleus of that energy is called Spirit out of which grows our personality and character as we experience life.

Inside your spirit resides destiny, self-esteem and the faith and belief we have in ourselves and our potential. We all have a spirit brain that continually intellectualizes our feelings about what lights us up. We derive meaning from life through our feelings. Our passion drinks from the well-spring of our spirit. It�s hard to describe the spirit in a physical sense as it is an invisible force, a mystery. It�s really not a thing but a quality and a dimension of who we are. It�s the imprinted state of our essence, our own unique truth. It is characterized by our intelligence, experience, energy and will. It�s our true spirit that forms our unique personality.

But if we could give our spirit a physical context, it would appear like a cotton ball. White, pure, flexible, fragile with the ability to be crushed under pressure and disappear into almost nothing without losing its mass. When the pressure is released it�s able to bounce back to its original form. In the medical world the cotton ball is an instrument of healing and hope. Inside that cotton ball lies desire and enthusiasm and that invisible force that searches for our own meaning and happiness, complemented by the faith and energy to take us beyond the limits of an ordinary life.

How do you tap into your spirit? There�s really no magic, it�s more a process of uncovering who we really are. Take time to be silent. If we don�t take the time to recognize and absorb the real information that we need to build our character and find our calling we lose ourselves in the clutter and turmoil of everyday life. Reflection has become a lost art. As coaches we�re big on �time outs�, on taking a small measure of withdrawal from life from time to time. We refer to it as �pulling up a rock�, finding those islands of silence in your life to reflect and absorb what has really gone on � to understand what makes you you. Without an inkling of who you are, your body cells won�t move ahead or back � they�ll just react.

If an individual stops growing relative to the needs of their spirit, they begin to withdraw from themselves as a person. A client was totally suppressed by her controlling and intimidating boss. She was constantly being �beaten up� and became an easy target for her boss to take advantage of her. She described the environment as �draining her spirit�, and losing her own sense of worth. The road to clarity began as she started to listen to her own dissonance. She refocused on a plan to bring her spirit back into her life. The process enabled her to rewrite her whole ticket in terms of reshaping her job to more of what she wanted from her position in order to reclaim the joy of spirit and a reconnection with her work.

Happiness is navigated from the inside, pulling up a rock to spend time in a regimented process to unravel your self-wisdom and �uncover� the clues that make you happy is the best gift you could ever receive. You�ll never be content in life until you are in harmony with your spirit. Getting in touch with your spirit means you�re in touch and comfortable with your authentic self. If you feel stuck in your AT position today, take time to pull up a rock and engage in your feelings to find out what really fires you up. Uncover those defining moments in life that made you you. Out of the process will come the makings to renew faith in yourself and reorientate your spirit compass to point the way to a happier more contented life.

To paraphrase singer/songwriter Jann Arden, �Faith in myself has never failed me, but at times my confidence has.� So take your cotton ball to work to remind you of the imagery and special feelings encapsulated inside that are vital to energize and nourish your spirit. Keep it in front of you at all times. It represents who you are and brings more clarity around what makes you happy. It�s your guiding star behind those choices that bring you in closer harmony with the unique dimension of your spirit to keep it alive in your life and your work. Above all, keep the faith.

Written by: Dick Cappon & John Christensen, executive coaches and co-authors of, Six Legs Jazz Club, a journey to uncovering your best life. They can be reached at, coachcappon@yahoo.com or jchristensen@sympatico.ca